, May 2021

“I’m changing my name the day I turn eighteen,” Betty said. “How can Clark and Doris name me Betty?”

“If you think that’s bad,” Courtney said, “Frank and Virginia won’t sign off on my birth control.”

Betty. How could they?”

“I like Betty,” Dana said. “It denotes a bold woman who doesn’t always know what she wants, but is open to anything.”

Denotes?” Courtney asked.

“Well, I’m changing it,” Betty said. “I haven’t decided on the new name yet, but I’m leaning towards Thana or Amdis.”

“You should change it to Orchid,” Dana said.

“Ewww,” Betty squealed.

“I mean,” Courtney said, “me and Robbie were making out the other night, and I felt his boner in his pants.”

“Gross,” Dana said.

“Doris should have changed her name,” Betty said. “She would have done better than a Clark.”

“Clark Kent is hot,” Courtney said.

“Gross,” Dana said.

“Who do you think is hot?”

“Not Clark Kent or Robbie.”

“What guy is going to want to marry a Betty? I’m going to wind up with a Ralph or a Clifford.”

“Or a Dick,” Courtney said.

“Gross,” Dana said.

“I’m also getting implants that same day,” Betty said.

“Really?” Dana asked.

“Your breasts haven’t even grown yet,” Courtney said.

“They have a little,” Dana said.

“Well, whatever they wind up to be, they’ll still need to be bigger,” Betty said.

“Yeah,” Dana said.

“I almost gave Robbie a blow job,” Courtney said.

“I’m gonna puke,” Dana said.

“What do you mean, almost?” Betty asked.

“Well, when I felt his thing, I thought about it.”

“That’s not even almost almost.”

“Have you ever done it?”


“You don’t know?”

“I do. I’m just not telling.”

“You haven’t done it.”

“What about you?” Betty asked Dana.

“I’ve done lots of stuff. I’m really good at using my mouth.”


“Sure. I can teach you.”

“I’ll do plenty of stuff when I get my birth control,” Courtney said.

“Why are you so obsessed with birth control?” Dana asked.

“Duh, I don’t want to get pregnant or diseased, duh.”


“Just make Robbie wear a condom,” Betty said.

“Gross,” Dana said. ▪