RichardDaub.com, February 2024

Sunday night, in his bedroom, moments after spending some time with himself, a knock on the locked door—

“What?” Carl asked, annoyed, stuffing the wad of toilet paper between mattress and boxspring.

“There’s a girl here to see you,” his mother said through the door.

There were no girls he knew of who would just drop in at 9:30 on a Sunday night, except, possibly, Sherry from next door, but that was doubtful, and his mother would have said so if it was her.

“I’ll be right down,” he said.

He put on the neon yellow jogging shorts and white Vuarnet t-shirt he’d been wearing all weekend, then thumped down the stairs to the front door.

At first, he didn’t recognize her. She was taller, slenderer, her hair was longer—Colleen O’Halleran, whom he used to work with at the All-American Burger a year-and-a-half ago when he was in eleventh grade and she was in tenth, whom he used to like, whom he thought liked him back until she ripped out his heart and tossed it in the deep fryer when she began dating another of their co-workers, a loser named Seth.

The last time Carl had seen her was the night he crashed her sweet sixteen party dressed in the fashion of Rob Halford, leather-clad lead singer of Judas Priest.

“What happened to Seth?” he asked.

“He’s a loser,” she said, looking as if she’d been crying and was about to start again. “Can you come out so we can talk?”

His Nike Airs were near the door and his mother was lingering. He grabbed the high tops and brought them outside, closing the door behind him. Colleen, hands in jacket pockets, watched him slide them on. He didn’t tie them.

Across the street, in a cone of amber streetlight, on the hood of an old gray Chevy Caprice, sat a girl with dirty blond hair and metal-framed glasses smoking a Parliament.

“I’m not involved in this,” the smoking girl said, hands in the air. “I’m just the driver. She’s been drinking and she insisted on seeing you and I’m only driving because I was afraid she was gonna get behind the wheel herself.”

Colleen was looking down at the asphalt.

“Well, here he is,” the smoking girl said to her. “Now say what ya gotta say so we can all go home.”

She didn’t respond or look up.

“Colleen!” the smoking girl exclaimed.

Colleen shushed her, then looked at Carl.

“You’re the one I liked,” she said, then looked down again. “I didn’t really like Seth that much. He liked me, and he was the same age as me, and he also goes to Catholic school, and you’re a year older and go to public school, and that intimidated me. I didn’t think you would take me seriously.”

“Well, I did like you. That’s why I quit. I wasn’t going to hang around watching you two play kissy-face.”

“I’m so stupid.”

“So, you invited me to your party because you still liked me?”

“Yes. I wanted you to be there. I thought something special might happen.”

“Like what? Me getting into a fight with Seth?”

“That would have been sooo awesome,” the smoking girl said. “Especially in your hot leather outfit. Do you still have that?”

“Shut up, Karen!” Colleen exclaimed.

“Why are you telling me this now?” Carl asked Colleen.

“Because she still likes you,” Karen said, lighting another Parliament.

“Karen!”

“I’m sorry, Colleen,” Karen responded, “but it’s Sunday night and we have school tomorrow and I’m tired and need to go to sleep. So, let’s wrap this up. In fact, I have a suggestion. Why don’t you guys get in the car for ten minutes and talk things out, and, if all goes well, you can kiss, and, who knows, maybe even more—”

“Karen!”

“Colleen!”

Karen opened the back door.

“Both of you, get in,” she ordered.

Carl got in first, then Colleen.

“You’ve got ten minutes, starting now,” Karen said, then closed the door.

The cabin was utterly silent and smelled of stale cigarette smoke.

“Sorry about her,” Colleen said. “She’s actually being nice right now. I’m the one being an idiot.”

“Your timing is pretty bad,” Carl said. “I wasn’t really with anyone this whole time, but now I’m going away to college in a couple of months.”

“I knew it might be my last chance. I couldn’t hold it in anymore.”

“But why were you so intimidated? Couldn’t you tell I was flirting with you? I was, like, on the verge of working up the courage to ask you out when the bomb dropped.”

“I didn’t think it was real. I didn’t think I had a chance with you. You’re a hot public school guy. You probably have hot girls crawling over you all day.”

“You think I’m hot?”

“Of course. Especially your hair.”

“Wow. Well, the public school girls don’t seem to think so, but thank you. And I thought you were hot too, and you still are. Even hotter now.”

“Thanks.”

There was a lull of about twenty seconds.

“So, what now?” Carl asked.

“I don’t know,” Colleen said, starting to cry.

“Colleen, no, please don’t—”

“I want you to be my boyfriend.”

“Really? Now?”

She nodded.

“I mean, when I go up to college, I wasn’t planning on, like, having… I don’t know… I want to be, you know, free when I get up there, if you know what I mean.”

“That’s okay. I just want you to be my boyfriend right now. This second.”

“This second?”

“This second.”

“Oh. Uh, okay.”

Another lull.

“I want you to kiss me,” Colleen finally said.

“Okay.”

She looked at him, then closed her eyes and leaned in. His lips met hers, which felt soft and nice. At first, they kissed hesitantly, then she slipped her tongue into his mouth. She was a good kisser, and he liked the way she put her hands on his cheeks. He kissed her back with a passion she could not have known with that loser Seth. The world fell away. The windows fogged.

They were interrupted by a pounding on the glass.

“Time’s up, lovers!” Karen said from outside.

Colleen looked away, then started crying.

“Are you okay?” Carl asked.

“I’m so sorry,” she said.

“About what?”

“It’s over.”

“What?”

The door opened and she got out.

“Wait, what’s going on?” Carl asked, following her out.

“It’s over, Carl,” she said, then started crying harder.

“What do you mean, ‘It’s over’? It’s been like, five minutes!”

“You heard the girl, Romeo,” Karen said. “It’s over.”

Karen shut the door while Colleen went around the front of the car and got in on the passenger side.

“Sorry,” Karen said. “I know it’s tough being dumped. Cigarette?”

She held open the flip-top box. He pondered the recessed filters, then took one and she lit it for him.

“Thanks,” he said.

“Don’t take it so hard. If Colleen wasn’t my best friend, I’d go out with you.”

She got into the car and the engine started. Carl watched the taillights turn the corner and disappear, then listened to the engine fade into the static of the night. He smoked the Parliament down to the filter, then flicked it to the curb before heading back across the street and into the house, where his mother was still lingering. ▪